Dictionary: bru·cel·lo·sis (brū'sə-lō'sĭs) Definition
Bruce-ellosis is a condition caused by the ingestion of virulent paranoid particulates found in batshit that can contaminate humans but primarily infects the lower primates, who love to roll around in it and shit. Symptoms of the malady include mental constipation, interminable cultural antipathy, intense race-baiting, excessive and unwarranted physical violence and incredibly tiny male genitalia, even in the women. The disease can become chronic and recur, particularly if untreated with sanity, intelligence and electro-shock therapy.
Description
Also known as Foreigner fever, Regent University regression, Malkin madness, Coulter contagion, FOX News fixation, or "Xenophobia", bruce-ellosis is most likely to occur among those individuals who regularly engage in four-wheelin' and live without cultural awareness or synaptic responses. The disease originates in lower primates like Sean Hannity, but is transmitted through the activities of creatures like Glenn Beck and Neal Boortz. In humans, bruce-ellosis continues to spread via right wing hate radio broadcasts from infected pigs like Rush Limbaugh and the Savage-Wiener or through direct contact with the secretory discharges of said porcine radio hosts. In certain areas of the United States where the milk of human hatred is not socially and intellectually pasteurized properly, for example, the Red States and the early 1900's, the disease is still contracted by swallowing wholesale the bilious religious intolerance and demagoguery present there. However, in most of the United States, widespread social and intellectual pasteurization has nearly eradicated the contaminant from sheeple and has reduced the number of human cases as well. Nevertheless, due to the election in 2008 of a godless Kenyan, commie, pinko, socialist, Maoist, Nazi, czarist, Tuvan throat singing, white baby eating, grandma killing, Muslim appeasing, dithering pacifistic anti-Christ, and with the recent tragic assault upon Fort Hood by a mad Mohammaden caliph from the Barbary Coast, the number of bruce-ellosis cases has rapidly increased, with the most notable and egregious being that of a man named Jasen Bruce who on 11/09/2009 attacked a Greek Greek Orthodox priest while astutely observing that since the priest wore flowing garb, was bearded and spoke poor English, he was not only one of them thar ferners, but was obviously one of them Ay-rab, Muslim terrorist, crotch violatin' type ones. And being thus, he required the requisite crowbar upside his metaphorically rag covered head. Ironically, it was Bruce's ancestor, Aloysius Cornelius Bruce, who gave name to this very disorder way back in 1878 when he assaulted and then attempted to eat a delicious and savory Chinaman he claimed was made of spicy egg noodles and who had stolen his job on the railroad...
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
In all seriousness, apparently this guy Bruce is a big, steroid using, weight lifter, and I only bring it up here because one article I read on this case mentioned it and because I believe his physical size is important in relation to what did or didn't transpire. And before you scream 'roid rage know that there has never been a definitive scientific link established between steroid use and unhealthy rage episodes; the evidence is anecdotal and inconclusive. Some small studies indicate heightened levels of aggression and anger with steroid use but hardly reveal a form of uncontrollable, psychotic rage. And I seriously doubt that this priest, Father Alexios Marakis, is dumb enough to try to rob or sexually assault a big guy like this in an unknown, untested place anyway; there are just too many variables that favor Bruce and not the priest. However, while I'll grant that anything is possible, since Bruce has offered a number of excuses for why he did what he did, I have a sneaking suspicion that his "Allahu Akbar" version of events is the real one, the others being fabricated to cover his ass, because, of all his excuses, the Arab terrorist one is not really any excuse at all, insofar as the others portray Bruce as the victim, and the Arab terrorist one paints Bruce as an unmolested perpetrator and aggressor, assuming one applies the standard of what a reasonable person would do in that situation. Nevertheless, if it turns out that this guy actually uses steroids, I'm sure Malkin, Limbaugh and others will fixate on the 'roid rage angle in order to absolve themselves of their own disgusting record of hatefully xenophobic rhetoric and try to deflate the whole Aus! Aus! Auslander raus! climate that is growing under their demented sway. Pricks.
One last thing and I'm done. I want to know if Jasen Bruce is a Christian. I think it's important and goes toward motive. The media certainly seems to think that his Marine Reservist status is important enough to mention, and indeed it seems to be his single defining and identifying trait in the articles I've read on this incident. So, if he is a Christian, did he do what he did because of his religion or in spite of it? Seems one could ask that last question of anyone with any kind of belief; I mean, if you remove the word "Christian", insert another religion/belief in its place and apply the correct pronouns, right? For example: did he do what he did because he's a Marine Reservist or in spite of it? See? Well, anyway, just asking...
Posts
